








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2060 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1323 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1106 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1330 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,239 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Bob | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | thedopeman | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | regular joe | 57% | 88 |
| #4 | Ninshu | 56% | 82 |
| #5 | Le Crashtan | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Italian Turtle | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | pem | 50% | 14 |
| #11 | CoolAdam | 44% | 9 |
| #12 | Guts | 42% | 38 |
| #13 | LintyBlanket | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regular joe | 41 | 0.0236 |
| #2 | Guts | 11 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Ninshu | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | henry | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Le Crashtan | 7 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regular joe | 357 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Le Crashtan | 158 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ninshu | 118 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Guts | 105 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | @tbctbctbc | 91 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gyetus | +5.44 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | CoolAdam | +0.66 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | regular joe | +0.51 | 58 | 68 |
| #4 | Gryph0n | +0.29 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | Señor Bob | +0.28 | 47 | 37 |





