








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1324 | 39% |
| Smokes | 739 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 609 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 681 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,167 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Bob | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | gyetus | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | geedis | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Ninshu | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | regular joe | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | geedis | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Ninshu | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | regular joe | 41% | 44 |
| #6 | henry | 37% | 43 |
| #7 | Guts | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regular joe | 24 | 0.0279 |
| #2 | Guts | 11 | 0.0273 |
| #3 | henry | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | gyetus | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Ninshu | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regular joe | 150 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | gyetus | 90 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | geedis | 69 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Guts | 61 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ninshu | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | +8.31 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | gyetus | +7.40 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | Señor Bob | +3.15 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | Ninshu | +1.17 | 49 | 37 |
| #5 | regular joe | +0.59 | 59 | 62 |





