








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4359 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2088 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1481 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1869 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,150,046 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gyetus | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | Ninshu | 50% | 100 |
| #3 | Guts | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | LintyBlanket | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | geedis | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Guts | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | LintyBlanket | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | geedis | 44% | 43 |
| #6 | henry | 42% | 91 |
| #7 | regular joe | 39% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regular joe | 33 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | Guts | 20 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | LintyBlanket | 13 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | Ninshu | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | henry | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regular joe | 362 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | LintyBlanket | 218 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #3 | Guts | 168 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | gyetus | 151 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | geedis | 132 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | +4.66 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | gyetus | +3.77 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | regular joe | +0.88 | 66 | 67 |
| #4 | LintyBlanket | +0.77 | 59 | 77 |
| #5 | Ninshu | +0.46 | 51 | 51 |





