








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1974 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1308 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1700 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1253 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,397 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Bob | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Le Crashtan | 48% | 63 |
| #3 | Ninshu | 47% | 53 |
| #4 | thedopeman | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | geedis | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | gyetus | 42% | 38 |
| #7 | regular joe | 42% | 62 |
| #8 | LintyBlanket | 40% | 25 |
| #9 | henry | 39% | 71 |
| #10 | @tbctbctbc | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regular joe | 31 | 0.0253 |
| #2 | Le Crashtan | 16 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | LintyBlanket | 11 | 0.0220 |
| #4 | gyetus | 8 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | @tbctbctbc | 8 | 0.0199 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regular joe | 308 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | Le Crashtan | 256 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | gyetus | 150 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | LintyBlanket | 134 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #5 | geedis | 116 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gyetus | +6.52 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | geedis | +6.16 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | LintyBlanket | +2.61 | 59 | 75 |
| #4 | Señor Bob | +2.33 | 52 | 38 |
| #5 | regular joe | +1.00 | 59 | 67 |





