








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3141 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2853 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2034 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1391 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,730 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thedopeman | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Señor Bob | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | gyetus | 57% | 88 |
| #4 | Ninshu | 47% | 119 |
| #5 | henry | 46% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | henry | 46% | 135 |
| #6 | Guts | 42% | 62 |
| #7 | @tbctbctbc | 41% | 44 |
| #8 | Le Crashtan | 39% | 80 |
| #9 | geedis | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guts | 18 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | @tbctbctbc | 16 | 0.0184 |
| #3 | gyetus | 15 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Le Crashtan | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | henry | 8 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gyetus | 336 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Le Crashtan | 328 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | Guts | 162 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ninshu | 161 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | @tbctbctbc | 158 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geedis | +6.31 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | gyetus | +6.16 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | Señor Bob | +1.37 | 47 | 53 |
| #4 | regular joe | +0.86 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | Ninshu | +0.22 | 42 | 51 |





