








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 192 | 5% |
| Smokes | 876 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2458 | 58% |
| Molotovs | 708 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $479,367 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thedopeman | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Señor Bob | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | gyetus | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | regular joe | 46% | 135 |
| #5 | Ninshu | 43% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regular joe | 54 | 0.0202 |
| #2 | Guts | 21 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Le Crashtan | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | gyetus | 10 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | LintyBlanket | 10 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | regular joe | 536 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Le Crashtan | 347 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | gyetus | 237 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | geedis | 189 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | LintyBlanket | 189 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gyetus | +6.73 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | geedis | +6.45 | 87 | 72 |
| #3 | Señor Bob | +2.24 | 47 | 45 |
| #4 | LintyBlanket | +1.30 | 62 | 76 |
| #5 | regular joe | +1.15 | 61 | 68 |





