








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1342 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4786 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4885 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5810 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3772 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,441,215 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2001 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spye | 61% | 153 |
| #2 | ricky lafleur | 58% | 78 |
| #3 | Ande | 54% | 94 |
| #4 | Dianitey | 53% | 123 |
| #5 | Suba Blyat | 52% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dianitey | 14 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Spye | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | _g_o_z_o_b_ | 13 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | ricky lafleur | 12 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Suba Blyat | 7 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ricky lafleur | 253 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Ande | 208 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Suba Blyat | 165 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dianitey | 150 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Spye | 133 | 0.04 | 3 min |





