








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11523 | 45% |
| Smokes | 6385 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3699 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3751 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,462,810 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woody | 50% | 336 |
| #2 | JG | 48% | 201 |
| #3 | DrippieWhit | 48% | 110 |
| #4 | i am kai | 45% | 149 |
| #5 | christian | 42% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woody | 50% | 336 |
| #2 | JG | 48% | 201 |
| #3 | DrippieWhit | 48% | 110 |
| #4 | i am kai | 45% | 149 |
| #5 | christian | 42% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woody | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | i am kai | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | JG | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | DrippieWhit | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | christian | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woody | 1761 | 0.27 | 39 min |
| #2 | JG | 464 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | i am kai | 322 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | christian | 274 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | DrippieWhit | 271 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woody | +1.91 | 78 | 66 |
| #2 | gr4y | +1.33 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | christian | +0.48 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | i am kai | +0.47 | 69 | 52 |
| #5 | DrippieWhit | -0.43 | 75 | 48 |





