








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4937 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2854 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2776 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2125 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $703,011 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mystic_Karma | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | JG | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | METRO | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | DrippieWhit | 52% | 272 |
| #5 | i am kai | 52% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | METRO | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | DrippieWhit | 52% | 272 |
| #5 | i am kai | 52% | 85 |
| #6 | woody | 48% | 130 |
| #7 | gr4y | 42% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrippieWhit | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | woody | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | i am kai | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | gr4y | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | JG | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrippieWhit | 860 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | woody | 717 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #3 | gr4y | 545 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #4 | i am kai | 226 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | JG | 159 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woody | +1.79 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | christian | +1.23 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | gr4y | +0.27 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | i am kai | +0.26 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | Mystic_Karma | +0.23 | 64 | 57 |





