










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 312 | 10% |
| Smokes | 803 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 776 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1184 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,937 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | 55% | 78 |
| #2 | Bober Kurwa | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | Plug Walk | 53% | 88 |
| #4 | Double | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | ExfoliatedFupa | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | 14 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Plug Walk | 11 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | ExfoliatedFupa | 8 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Bober Kurwa | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Double | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plug Walk | 170 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sharty Marty | 123 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Double | 117 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bober Kurwa | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ExfoliatedFupa | 28 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | +6.36 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | Plug Walk | +3.96 | 75 | 51 |
| #3 | Zook | +2.67 | 83 | 31 |
| #4 | Bober Kurwa | +0.06 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | ExfoliatedFupa | +0.04 | 56 | 33 |





