








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3492 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1928 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2930 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3375 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,999,920 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4655 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlueGemBubba | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | Brycey Boo<3 | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | Zook | 50% | 177 |
| #4 | Double | 49% | 82 |
| #5 | Sharty Marty | 48% | 325 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Double | 49% | 82 |
| #5 | Sharty Marty | 48% | 325 |
| #6 | ZseT | 48% | 115 |
| #7 | Plug Walk | 45% | 152 |
| #8 | ExfoliatedFupa | 40% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | 55 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Plug Walk | 29 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | ExfoliatedFupa | 15 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Brycey Boo<3 | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | ZseT | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | 662 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Plug Walk | 404 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Brycey Boo<3 | 288 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | Double | 201 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Zook | 78 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | +5.78 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | Brycey Boo<3 | +3.22 | 81 | 56 |
| #3 | Zook | +1.68 | 80 | 29 |
| #4 | Plug Walk | +0.71 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | ZseT | +0.40 | 68 | 42 |





