








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 566 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1644 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1287 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1429 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,092,784 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BlueGemBubba | 47% | 49 |
| #7 | Zook | 47% | 64 |
| #8 | Plug Walk | 43% | 82 |
| #9 | Bober Kurwa | 40% | 102 |
| #10 | Double | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | 15 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Plug Walk | 14 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Bober Kurwa | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | BlueGemBubba | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Brycey Boo<3 | 6 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plug Walk | 164 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Sharty Marty | 155 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bober Kurwa | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Brycey Boo<3 | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Double | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlanB Baby | +6.84 | 93 | 58 |
| #2 | Sharty Marty | +5.79 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | Brycey Boo<3 | +4.44 | 82 | 62 |
| #4 | Zook | +2.41 | 83 | 31 |
| #5 | Plug Walk | +1.89 | 70 | 57 |





