








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2419 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3599 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3300 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2556 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $941,038 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | 21 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Bober Kurwa | 18 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Brycey Boo<3 | 12 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | ExfoliatedFupa | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | BlueGemBubba | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | 294 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Brycey Boo<3 | 248 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bober Kurwa | 197 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Double | 104 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zook | 48 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | +5.07 | 86 | 60 |
| #2 | Brycey Boo<3 | +4.07 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | Zook | +1.71 | 81 | 31 |
| #4 | Plug Walk | +1.48 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | ZseT | +0.43 | 66 | 46 |





