








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1988 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 192 matches | ||
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




147 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10491 | 32% |
| Smokes | 9007 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8893 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4791 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,625,994 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2761 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brycey Boo<3 | 56% | 153 |
| #2 | Plug Walk | 55% | 145 |
| #3 | BlueGemBubba | 55% | 78 |
| #4 | ZseT | 55% | 249 |
| #5 | Zook | 54% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Zook | 54% | 174 |
| #6 | ExfoliatedFupa | 53% | 83 |
| #7 | Double | 52% | 117 |
| #8 | Bober Kurwa | 48% | 325 |
| #9 | Black | 47% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober Kurwa | 28 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Plug Walk | 28 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Brycey Boo<3 | 19 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | ExfoliatedFupa | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | ZseT | 10 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brycey Boo<3 | 535 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Bober Kurwa | 407 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | Plug Walk | 313 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Double | 289 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Black | 239 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sharty Marty | +4.22 | 81 | 59 |
| #2 | Brycey Boo<3 | +1.92 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | Zook | +1.48 | 80 | 29 |
| #4 | Plug Walk | +0.55 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | ZseT | +0.15 | 67 | 45 |





