








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1025 | 26% |
| Smokes | 763 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1222 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 930 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,018,586 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasuhC | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | JaKe✤ | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Synaps | 52% | 89 |
| #4 | SlixVacson | 50% | 92 |
| #5 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 49% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | El Philli | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | Tommy | 47% | 100 |
| #8 | Walter White | 45% | 40 |
| #9 | Tralalero Tralala | 45% | 47 |
| #10 | .path | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Synaps | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | SlixVacson | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Tommy | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Tralalero Tralala | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tommy | 206 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Köftepeek 2.0 | 203 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Synaps | 182 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | SlixVacson | 158 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Walter White | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kasuhC | +6.77 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | JaKe✤ | +1.95 | 78 | 77 |
| #3 | Tralalero Tralala | +1.37 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | SUUIII | +1.34 | 79 | 43 |
| #5 | Tommy | +0.60 | 72 | 59 |





