








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 391 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5429 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7477 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6440 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4778 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,947 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FirePatriot | 58% | 64 |
| #2 | pdizzy | 52% | 73 |
| #3 | MountainDrew31 | 50% | 78 |
| #4 | Schuetz | 50% | 233 |
| #5 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 50% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Nighthawk_15 | 48% | 101 |
| #8 | Orb | 47% | 327 |
| #9 | m00SE | 46% | 97 |
| #10 | Just a lil Guy | 45% | 56 |
| #11 | Crayon Muncher 🖍 | 42% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Crayon Muncher 🖍 | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Orb | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Schuetz | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | pdizzy | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orb | 833 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Schuetz | 639 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | Crayon Muncher 🖍 | 448 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 436 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | MountainDrew31 | 366 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schuetz | +3.66 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | FirePatriot | +2.60 | 67 | 61 |
| #3 | pdizzy | +0.77 | 46 | 48 |
| #4 | Orb | +0.55 | 83 | 54 |
| #5 | MountainDrew31 | +0.17 | 52 | 78 |





