








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5154 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3328 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 7014 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1246 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,281,352 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 418 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schuetz | 55% | 86 |
| #2 | pdizzy | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | 1CunningKitten | 49% | 155 |
| #4 | Dr. Zeus | 48% | 101 |
| #5 | Just a lil Guy | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Just a lil Guy | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | Merlin凸﹏ʕ҂°ʖ°ʔ﹏凸 | 41% | 82 |
| #7 | Archetype | 40% | 35 |
| #8 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 35% | 46 |
| #9 | Orb | 34% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1CunningKitten | 15 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Merlin凸﹏ʕ҂°ʖ°ʔ﹏凸 | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Dr. Zeus | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Orb | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | pdizzy | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Zeus | 300 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Schuetz | 226 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Orb | 224 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | 1CunningKitten | 182 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | pdizzy | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schuetz | +4.59 | 82 | 51 |
| #2 | 1CunningKitten | +3.89 | 85 | 46 |
| #3 | Orb | +0.48 | 83 | 56 |
| #4 | Dr. Zeus | -0.48 | 47 | 58 |
| #5 | pdizzy | -0.76 | 41 | 54 |





