








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 833 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Wingman | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8776 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9130 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 9102 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4771 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,240,219 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 436 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | Schuetz | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | FirePatriot | 45% | 51 |
| #4 | Dr. Zeus | 42% | 118 |
| #5 | Orb | 40% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dr. Zeus | 42% | 118 |
| #5 | Orb | 40% | 90 |
| #6 | m00SE | 37% | 124 |
| #7 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 37% | 54 |
| #8 | Just a lil Guy | 34% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just a lil Guy | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | m00SE | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Dr. Zeus | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Orb | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Zeus | 361 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Orb | 260 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | m00SE | 163 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | john pork ▶︎ •၊၊||၊| | 149 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Schuetz | 125 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schuetz | +2.47 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | FirePatriot | +2.05 | 67 | 61 |
| #3 | Orb | +0.63 | 80 | 56 |
| #4 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | +0.11 | 25 | 47 |
| #5 | Dr. Zeus | -0.14 | 52 | 56 |





