








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3585 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2748 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1796 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2480 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,004,210 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tea Cup Killer | 50% | 103 |
| #2 | Familyjules | 47% | 51 |
| #3 | Bebs | 47% | 81 |
| #4 | Fords | 45% | 280 |
| #5 | Soul | 44% | 259 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fords | 45% | 280 |
| #5 | Soul | 44% | 259 |
| #6 | bumhead9 | 37% | 138 |
| #7 | MUK_MUK | 33% | 81 |
| #8 | Dongo | 27% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUK_MUK | 30 | 0.0175 |
| #2 | Familyjules | 13 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Fords | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Soul | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Dongo | 8 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fords | 1291 | 0.22 | 33 min |
| #2 | Soul | 1051 | 0.19 | 32 min |
| #3 | bumhead9 | 445 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | Tea Cup Killer | 331 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | MUK_MUK | 270 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fords | +3.15 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | Soul | +1.47 | 66 | 74 |
| #3 | Familyjules | -0.24 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | Tea Cup Killer | -0.40 | 52 | 65 |
| #5 | Jinx | -1.46 | 69 | 52 |





