








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 640 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5992 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5668 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5596 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6239 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,344,632 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bebs | 45% | 107 |
| #6 | Jinx | 44% | 259 |
| #7 | bumhead9 | 40% | 109 |
| #8 | MUK_MUK | 40% | 60 |
| #9 | Dongo | 33% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fords | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | MUK_MUK | 13 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Jinx | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Familyjules | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Bebs | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fords | 1962 | 0.22 | 50 min |
| #2 | Jinx | 912 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #3 | bumhead9 | 342 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Tea Cup Killer | 335 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | Familyjules | 305 | 0.14 | 8 min |





