








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1061 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Faceit | 223 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8353 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7783 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4537 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 7442 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,609,565 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bebs | 49% | 102 |
| #7 | Jinx | 45% | 280 |
| #8 | MUK_MUK | 43% | 74 |
| #9 | bumhead9 | 43% | 124 |
| #10 | Dongo | 34% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soul | 19 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | MUK_MUK | 18 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | Jinx | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Dongo | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Familyjules | 9 | 0.0042 |





