








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 123 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1088 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1125 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 723 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1185 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,992 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jinx | 47% | 81 |
| #8 | Soul | 45% | 107 |
| #9 | Familyjules | 42% | 31 |
| #10 | Dongo | 36% | 14 |
| #11 | MUK_MUK | 26% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUK_MUK | 13 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | Familyjules | 12 | 0.0178 |
| #3 | Soul | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Jinx | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Dongo | 4 | 0.0152 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fords | 468 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | Soul | 421 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | Jinx | 279 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | bumhead9 | 222 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tea Cup Killer | 216 | 0.18 | 6 min |





