








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2645 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2410 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2178 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2363 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,498,576 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tea Cup Killer | 52% | 97 |
| #2 | Familyjules | 50% | 56 |
| #3 | Bebs | 49% | 53 |
| #4 | Fords | 43% | 124 |
| #5 | Soul | 40% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fords | 43% | 124 |
| #5 | Soul | 40% | 109 |
| #6 | Jinx | 37% | 138 |
| #7 | MUK_MUK | 32% | 69 |
| #8 | Dongo | 30% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUK_MUK | 46 | 0.0315 |
| #2 | Familyjules | 13 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Jinx | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Tea Cup Killer | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Dongo | 8 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fords | 569 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | Jinx | 452 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Soul | 433 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | Tea Cup Killer | 358 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | MUK_MUK | 320 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fords | +3.88 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | Soul | +1.84 | 67 | 74 |
| #3 | Tea Cup Killer | +0.19 | 45 | 64 |
| #4 | Familyjules | -0.12 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | Jinx | -0.73 | 68 | 49 |





