








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,112 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2820 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2673 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2113 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2506 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,630 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fords | 57% | 132 |
| #2 | Soul | 54% | 124 |
| #3 | Bebs | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | bumhead9 | 52% | 97 |
| #5 | Familyjules | 51% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bumhead9 | 52% | 97 |
| #5 | Familyjules | 51% | 134 |
| #6 | Jinx | 50% | 103 |
| #7 | MUK_MUK | 43% | 117 |
| #8 | Dongo | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MUK_MUK | 43 | 0.0175 |
| #2 | Familyjules | 28 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Fords | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | bumhead9 | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Soul | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fords | 683 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #2 | MUK_MUK | 495 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | Soul | 488 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | Familyjules | 460 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | bumhead9 | 418 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fords | +4.09 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | Soul | +1.67 | 64 | 72 |
| #3 | Tea Cup Killer | -0.08 | 50 | 64 |
| #4 | Familyjules | -0.32 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | Jinx | -1.13 | 71 | 50 |





