








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2347 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2195 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2408 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1050 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $970,229 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 50% | 88 |
| #2 | give me what i want. | 50% | 139 |
| #3 | EEEERNN | 46% | 93 |
| #4 | RhodesyO | 45% | 220 |
| #5 | Ritari | 43% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 50% | 88 |
| #2 | give me what i want. | 50% | 139 |
| #3 | EEEERNN | 46% | 93 |
| #4 | RhodesyO | 45% | 220 |
| #5 | Ritari | 43% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RhodesyO | 60 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Ritari | 46 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | EEEERNN | 12 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | give me what i want. | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RhodesyO | 464 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Ritari | 370 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 146 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | give me what i want. | 136 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | EEEERNN | 102 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | give me what i want. | +3.92 | 74 | 48 |
| #2 | RhodesyO | +2.91 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | Ritari | +0.31 | 64 | 50 |
| #4 | EEEERNN | -0.16 | 36 | 48 |
| #5 | Dig_Ole_Bick | -2.95 | 32 | 44 |





