








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 801 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 254 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




161 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6036 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5409 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2258 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3840 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,003,595 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | give me what i want. | 54% | 109 |
| #2 | Ritari | 51% | 433 |
| #3 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 51% | 258 |
| #4 | EEEERNN | 47% | 172 |
| #5 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 45% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ritari | 51% | 433 |
| #3 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 51% | 258 |
| #4 | EEEERNN | 47% | 172 |
| #5 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 45% | 220 |
| #6 | гейбой | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ritari | 101 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 31 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 31 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | EEEERNN | 24 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | give me what i want. | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ritari | 782 | 0.09 | 24 min |
| #2 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 399 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 359 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | EEEERNN | 178 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | give me what i want. | 109 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | give me what i want. | +3.83 | 74 | 45 |
| #2 | RhodesyO | +3.14 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | Ritari | +0.64 | 65 | 52 |
| #4 | EEEERNN | +0.29 | 37 | 44 |
| #5 | гейбой | -1.86 | 40 | 38 |





