








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 757 | 23% |
| Smokes | 977 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 826 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 712 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,233,486 of utility $278 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EEEERNN | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | RhodesyO | 54% | 109 |
| #3 | Ritari | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 50% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ritari | 27 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | RhodesyO | 24 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | EEEERNN | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 255 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | RhodesyO | 255 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ritari | 158 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | EEEERNN | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | give me what i want. | +3.64 | 75 | 47 |
| #2 | RhodesyO | +2.83 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | Ritari | -0.53 | 63 | 53 |
| #4 | EEEERNN | -0.63 | 31 | 43 |
| #5 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | -2.98 | 13 | 40 |





