








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 405 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




120 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3331 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1907 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3298 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1924 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,670,335 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RhodesyO | 51% | 433 |
| #2 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 51% | 207 |
| #3 | give me what i want. | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 43% | 232 |
| #5 | EEEERNN | 43% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RhodesyO | 51% | 433 |
| #2 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 51% | 207 |
| #3 | give me what i want. | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 43% | 232 |
| #5 | EEEERNN | 43% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RhodesyO | 106 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 25 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 23 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | EEEERNN | 13 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | give me what i want. | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RhodesyO | 1125 | 0.13 | 29 min |
| #2 | Dig_Ole_Bick | 421 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | TittyMcFannyWiggle | 373 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | EEEERNN | 148 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | give me what i want. | 94 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | give me what i want. | +4.06 | 75 | 44 |
| #2 | RhodesyO | +3.10 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | Ritari | +0.48 | 64 | 53 |
| #4 | EEEERNN | -0.51 | 32 | 47 |
| #5 | Dig_Ole_Bick | -3.06 | 31 | 43 |





