








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 689 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 409 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,012 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2272 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4148 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4636 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4956 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,036,531 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bedazi | 46% | 103 |
| #9 | k0ijjari.- | 44% | 54 |
| #10 | Sakarikaulaote | 41% | 54 |
| #11 | Bruce Silvio | 39% | 28 |
| #12 | Jsnap | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uolevi | 35 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 12 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | c0dex97 | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | bedazi | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | k0ijjari.- | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c0dex97 | 302 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | uolevi | 266 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | bedazi | 154 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 148 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mansikka | 93 | 0.05 | 2 min |





