








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 581 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 162 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2577 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3606 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 8200 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 6284 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,235,418 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1013 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uolevi | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Trin1tyfin | 18 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | ♿ | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | ♿ | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | ♿ | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uolevi | 411 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #2 | c0dex97 | 354 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Trin1tyfin | 276 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | bedazi | 221 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | Turvakypärä Samuel | 213 | 0.09 | 5 min |





