










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1399 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1032 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 930 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 523 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $935,907 of utility $273 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | McThiccums | 48% | 103 |
| #9 | Deathstrike | 45% | 22 |
| #10 | Hans Olo | 45% | 49 |
| #11 | Jaax | 29% | 17 |
| #12 | Kichi | 16% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | 42 | 0.0185 |
| #2 | Sparkity | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Banjo lawrence | 11 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Hans Olo | 8 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | McThiccums | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | 234 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sparkity | 169 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Hans Olo | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Banjo lawrence | 68 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hoedini | 64 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | +5.81 | 70 | 67 |
| #2 | Sparkity | +5.51 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | Hoedini | +3.03 | 56 | 57 |
| #4 | Banjo lawrence | +1.51 | 28 | 38 |
| #5 | Deathstrike | -0.55 | 49 | 33 |





