








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 197 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




202 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3821 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5056 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4492 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3220 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,833,804 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 937 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mufter | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | Deathstrike | 57% | 58 |
| #3 | Sparkity | 56% | 340 |
| #4 | Skellybro | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | Tense1983 | 54% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Chief Red Eye | 50% | 82 |
| #11 | CamLToe | 50% | 114 |
| #12 | Hoedini | 50% | 115 |
| #13 | Jaax | 41% | 44 |
| #14 | Kichi | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banjo lawrence | 50 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Sparkity | 44 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | McThiccums | 28 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | CamLToe | 23 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Hoedini | 17 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparkity | 520 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | Hans Olo | 444 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Hoedini | 287 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | CamLToe | 254 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Banjo lawrence | 232 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | +3.94 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | Sparkity | +3.71 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | Hoedini | +2.59 | 57 | 61 |
| #4 | Tense1983 | +2.39 | 85 | 55 |
| #5 | Deathstrike | +0.39 | 55 | 30 |





