








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 165 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3098 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5974 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4977 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5277 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,955,805 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1016 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathstrike | 70% | 54 |
| #2 | Mufter | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | Quasi | 57% | 116 |
| #4 | CamLToe | 57% | 116 |
| #5 | Comma | 56% | 340 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | McThiccums | 49% | 329 |
| #11 | Chief Red Eye | 48% | 151 |
| #12 | Hans Olo | 46% | 170 |
| #13 | Jaax | 43% | 49 |
| #14 | Kichi | 38% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | 134 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | Banjo lawrence | 64 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | McThiccums | 35 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Hoedini | 29 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Hans Olo | 18 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | 766 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #2 | Hoedini | 709 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | Hans Olo | 422 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | Banjo lawrence | 403 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | Chief Red Eye | 278 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | +4.27 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | Sparkity | +3.69 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | Hoedini | +2.70 | 54 | 61 |
| #4 | Deathstrike | +1.19 | 60 | 29 |
| #5 | Banjo lawrence | +0.58 | 27 | 39 |





