










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 303 | 9% |
| Smokes | 557 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 857 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1631 | 49% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,218,004 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 391 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deathstrike | 57% | 53 |
| #2 | Comma | 51% | 232 |
| #3 | Sparkity | 49% | 329 |
| #4 | Mufter | 49% | 55 |
| #5 | CamLToe | 48% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Banjo lawrence | 46% | 180 |
| #8 | Hans Olo | 45% | 116 |
| #9 | Chief Red Eye | 44% | 41 |
| #10 | Jaax | 38% | 53 |
| #11 | Kichi | 33% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | 90 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | Banjo lawrence | 38 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Sparkity | 30 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | CamLToe | 13 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Hans Olo | 12 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | 511 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | Sparkity | 501 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #3 | Hans Olo | 291 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | CamLToe | 232 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hoedini | 193 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comma | +5.49 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Sparkity | +5.13 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Hoedini | +3.27 | 55 | 59 |
| #4 | Deathstrike | +2.70 | 64 | 27 |
| #5 | Banjo lawrence | +1.20 | 28 | 37 |





