








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 491 | 27% |
| Smokes | 427 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 261 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 673 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,185 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Data ❤ | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | 1flow | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | arias | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | ins0mniak ^_^ | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Talen | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | arias | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | ins0mniak ^_^ | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Talen | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | Jeebs | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | clipnafty | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arias | 10 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | clipnafty | 5 | 0.0188 |
| #3 | 1flow | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Talen | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeebs | 105 | 0.37 | 3 min |
| #2 | Talen | 76 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | 1flow | 74 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | clipnafty | 62 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | arias | 44 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xx | +3.37 | 92 | 40 |
| #2 | arias | +1.26 | 92 | 33 |
| #3 | ins0mniak ^_^ | +1.06 | 90 | 63 |
| #4 | Data ❤ | +0.75 | 73 | 52 |
| #5 | 1flow | -0.01 | 93 | 68 |





