








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 643 | 37% |
| Smokes | 342 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 427 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 340 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,271 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurboTapczan | 60% | 55 |
| #2 | ︻芫 ——— | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Aner | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | TrEbUcH | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 48% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TrEbUcH | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 48% | 80 |
| #6 | sztywny gicik | 47% | 57 |
| #7 | Yourthess | 41% | 56 |
| #8 | CRYO | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sztywny gicik | 11 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | TurboTapczan | 10 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Yourthess | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ︻芫 ——— | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 133 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Yourthess | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | ︻芫 ——— | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | sztywny gicik | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | TurboTapczan | 88 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlagueKoxPVP2011 | +3.46 | 81 | 45 |
| #2 | TurboTapczan | +0.71 | 54 | 63 |
| #3 | ︻芫 ——— | +0.31 | 43 | 61 |
| #4 | sztywny gicik | -0.69 | 71 | 46 |
| #5 | Aner | -1.08 | 50 | 51 |





