








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Wingman | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2699 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3368 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2313 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1454 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,295,183 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurboTapczan | 49% | 374 |
| #2 | PlagueKoxPVP2011 | 48% | 80 |
| #3 | sztywny gicik | 47% | 406 |
| #4 | Yourthess | 45% | 363 |
| #5 | CRYO | 44% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Yourthess | 45% | 363 |
| #5 | CRYO | 44% | 118 |
| #6 | TrEbUcH | 42% | 124 |
| #7 | Aner | 42% | 48 |
| #8 | ︻芫 ——— | 41% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurboTapczan | 87 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | sztywny gicik | 79 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Yourthess | 35 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | CRYO | 30 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | ︻芫 ——— | 17 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yourthess | 940 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | sztywny gicik | 868 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #3 | TurboTapczan | 593 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | ︻芫 ——— | 440 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | CRYO | 303 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlagueKoxPVP2011 | +4.24 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | TurboTapczan | +2.17 | 62 | 63 |
| #3 | CRYO | +1.27 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | sztywny gicik | +1.01 | 71 | 45 |
| #5 | Aner | +0.05 | 50 | 41 |





