








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1517 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1520 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2570 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1762 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1344 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $449,325 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | CRYO | 44% | 27 |
| #7 | Yourthess | 42% | 110 |
| #8 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 41% | 157 |
| #9 | sztywny gicik | 41% | 106 |
| #10 | TrEbUcH | 30% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sztywny gicik | 24 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | TurboTapczan | 24 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | TrEbUcH | 9 | 0.0117 |
| #5 | CRYO | 7 | 0.0113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 274 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Yourthess | 259 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | sztywny gicik | 252 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | TurboTapczan | 162 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | TrEbUcH | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |





