








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 539 matches | ||
| Wingman | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5653 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4526 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4334 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4022 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,795,139 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrEbUcH | 51% | 82 |
| #2 | TurboTapczan | 49% | 401 |
| #3 | CRYO | 48% | 323 |
| #4 | sztywny gicik | 45% | 316 |
| #5 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 45% | 363 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sztywny gicik | 45% | 316 |
| #5 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 45% | 363 |
| #6 | Kubson2115 | 42% | 119 |
| #7 | ︻芫 ——— | 42% | 110 |
| #8 | PlagueKoxPVP2011 | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurboTapczan | 87 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | sztywny gicik | 76 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | CRYO | 65 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 31 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Kubson2115 | 25 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sztywny gicik | 722 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | TurboTapczan | 665 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | CRYO | 641 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | Mehmet ali ağca KGHM | 610 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #5 | ︻芫 ——— | 319 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlagueKoxPVP2011 | +4.48 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | TurboTapczan | +2.00 | 63 | 61 |
| #3 | CRYO | +1.68 | 77 | 48 |
| #4 | sztywny gicik | +0.68 | 70 | 43 |
| #5 | TrEbUcH | -0.25 | 66 | 55 |





