








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 878 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1439 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1182 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1838 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1670 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,198,424 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 749 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyph x) | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | laa laa | 49% | 93 |
| #3 | Donnie | 49% | 237 |
| #4 | bradly | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | allu | 46% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allu | 71 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | Donnie | 37 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | UrMomGay | 27 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | SkibidiDabRizzler | 10 | 0.0151 |
| #5 | bradly | 9 | 0.0168 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donnie | 437 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | allu | 332 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | UrMomGay | 305 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | laa laa | 186 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | SkibidiDabRizzler | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |





