








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




199 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2758 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4043 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3556 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2776 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,958,915 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4092 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donnie | 69 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | T0NK4 C4T | 49 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | UrMomGay | 42 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Brokxyyy | 21 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | laa laa | 11 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donnie | 587 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | UrMomGay | 471 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | xyph x) | 384 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | T0NK4 C4T | 212 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | laa laa | 156 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyph x) | +6.97 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | deets | +1.30 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | Donnie | +1.05 | 69 | 45 |
| #4 | Slick Sensei | +0.46 | 64 | 37 |
| #5 | UrMomGay | +0.26 | 59 | 52 |





