








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1032 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2428 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2010 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3118 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1253 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,420,646 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 944 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FanieDieSkilpad | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | xyph x) | 59% | 56 |
| #3 | bradly | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | laa laa | 51% | 74 |
| #5 | SkibidiDabRizzler | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allu | 138 | 0.0227 |
| #2 | T0NK4 C4T | 72 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | UrMomGay | 39 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | FanieDieSkilpad | 17 | 0.0196 |
| #5 | bradly | 16 | 0.0252 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allu | 590 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | UrMomGay | 455 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | T0NK4 C4T | 299 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | xyph x) | 196 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | FanieDieSkilpad | 185 | 0.21 | 3 min |





