










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 327 | 26% |
| Smokes | 373 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 305 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 244 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $210,241 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 626 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyph x) | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | laa laa | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Donnie | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | bonobo | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | T0NK4 C4T | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Donnie | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | bonobo | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | T0NK4 C4T | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | Brokxyyy | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | UrMomGay | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T0NK4 C4T | 11 | 0.0204 |
| #2 | Donnie | 7 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | UrMomGay | 7 | 0.0249 |
| #4 | Brokxyyy | 5 | 0.1000 |
| #5 | laa laa | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donnie | 65 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | T0NK4 C4T | 24 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | UrMomGay | 21 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | xyph x) | 18 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | laa laa | 13 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyph x) | +7.44 | 71 | 52 |
| #2 | Brokxyyy | +3.25 | 93 | 22 |
| #3 | laa laa | +1.78 | 66 | 49 |
| #4 | bradly | +0.74 | 53 | 43 |
| #5 | T0NK4 C4T | +0.65 | 56 | 42 |





