








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Wingman | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Renown | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4906 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3848 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1801 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2781 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,283,496 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1756 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkibidiDabRizzler | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | Donnie | 51% | 185 |
| #3 | allu | 50% | 180 |
| #4 | laa laa | 50% | 222 |
| #5 | T0NK4 C4T | 45% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allu | 89 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | T0NK4 C4T | 43 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Donnie | 25 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | laa laa | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | SkibidiDabRizzler | 7 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laa laa | 391 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | allu | 341 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Donnie | 315 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | T0NK4 C4T | 167 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | SkibidiDabRizzler | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |





