








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 436 | 41% |
| Smokes | 374 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 188 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 54 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,704 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | citrouille | 48% | 97 |
| #2 | ADDERALL8K | 46% | 13 |
| #3 | hambubger | 45% | 65 |
| #4 | snoopdobbydob | 44% | 36 |
| #5 | bugemeister | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | citrouille | 322 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | hambubger | 260 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | snoopdobbydob | 126 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | unc | 87 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | bugemeister | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambubger | +5.31 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | citrouille | +4.37 | 88 | 55 |
| #3 | ADDERALL8K | +2.57 | 63 | 45 |
| #4 | snoopdobbydob | +0.48 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | bugemeister | +0.05 | 75 | 43 |





