








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 686 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3509 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3315 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3272 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2432 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,113,375 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 846 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADDERALL8K | 67% | 43 |
| #2 | hambubger | 59% | 204 |
| #3 | The_Kritikal | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | The Babbahermeeni | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | L1nq | 55% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | LuvDingo/ttv | 49% | 65 |
| #11 | citrouille | 48% | 184 |
| #12 | SerenCS | 44% | 34 |
| #13 | big mac | 44% | 41 |
| #14 | donger | 33% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoopdobbydob | 28 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | hambubger | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | The Niggler | 13 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | citrouille | 12 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | LuvDingo/ttv | 6 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambubger | 950 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #2 | citrouille | 705 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #3 | snoopdobbydob | 558 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | L1nq | 461 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #5 | LuvDingo/ttv | 219 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambubger | +4.01 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | citrouille | +1.91 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | ape | +1.63 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | L1nq | +1.07 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | snoopdobbydob | +0.68 | 69 | 53 |





