








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2548 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 483 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1135 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 748 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 848 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,757,275 of utility $261 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Octane_Buzzttv | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | ADDERALL8K | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | The Babbahermeeni | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | stebe | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | The_Kritikal | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | hambubger | 50% | 209 |
| #8 | [USERNAME] | 48% | 33 |
| #9 | citrouille | 46% | 78 |
| #10 | unc | 46% | 24 |
| #11 | snoopdobbydob | 45% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoopdobbydob | 26 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | hambubger | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | citrouille | 10 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | bugemeister | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | The_Kritikal | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambubger | 970 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #2 | snoopdobbydob | 452 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | citrouille | 273 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | bugemeister | 148 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | stebe | 104 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambubger | +4.12 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | stebe | +3.22 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | citrouille | +1.38 | 87 | 56 |
| #4 | snoopdobbydob | +0.81 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | ADDERALL8K | -0.00 | 56 | 43 |





