








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1026 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3292 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3595 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2930 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2614 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,186,354 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 525 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deep Water Trout Goku | 54% | 294 |
| #2 | Bunion_Knight | 53% | 161 |
| #3 | Hunter | 52% | 351 |
| #4 | vegeta Atlantic salmon | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | msn | 49% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hunter | 52% | 351 |
| #4 | vegeta Atlantic salmon | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | msn | 49% | 63 |
| #6 | Cheesenipps | 48% | 144 |
| #7 | Ovad | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 52 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Deep Water Trout Goku | 18 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | vegeta Atlantic salmon | 18 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Ovad | 12 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Cheesenipps | 11 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 1852 | 0.26 | 47 min |
| #2 | Deep Water Trout Goku | 432 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #3 | msn | 199 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bunion_Knight | 179 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cheesenipps | 158 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | +2.22 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | msn | +1.44 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | Deep Water Trout Goku | +1.39 | 63 | 51 |
| #4 | Conray13 | +0.85 | 59 | 46 |
| #5 | Ovad | -0.65 | 48 | 37 |





