








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 585 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1911 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3742 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2190 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2773 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,457,225 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TechSexy | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | Cheesenipps | 54% | 109 |
| #3 | Conray13 | 54% | 294 |
| #4 | Bunion_Knight | 52% | 193 |
| #5 | Hunter | 51% | 294 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Conray13 | 54% | 294 |
| #4 | Bunion_Knight | 52% | 193 |
| #5 | Hunter | 51% | 294 |
| #6 | msn | 51% | 89 |
| #7 | vegeta Atlantic salmon | 49% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 36 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | vegeta Atlantic salmon | 17 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Conray13 | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Bunion_Knight | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Cheesenipps | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 1458 | 0.24 | 37 min |
| #2 | Conray13 | 562 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | msn | 216 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bunion_Knight | 206 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cheesenipps | 124 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | +2.28 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | Deep Water Trout Goku | +1.44 | 64 | 50 |
| #3 | Conray13 | +0.92 | 59 | 45 |
| #4 | msn | +0.82 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | Bunion_Knight | -1.08 | 40 | 42 |





