








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 293 | 14% |
| Smokes | 428 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 828 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 537 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,344 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Pork | 80% | 35 |
| #2 | Ian | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | leandog | 72% | 47 |
| #4 | i see a dog i pet it | 72% | 39 |
| #5 | Simp2Pimp | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leandog | 11 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | PantPooper | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | John Pork | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | justblaze | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | jshipp | 2 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leandog | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | justblaze | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | John Pork | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | PantPooper | 28 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ian | 22 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | +5.60 | 92 | 60 |
| #2 | leandog | +4.63 | 73 | 36 |
| #3 | Denni | +2.90 | 84 | 40 |
| #4 | jshipp | +2.42 | 85 | 51 |
| #5 | Ian | -0.92 | 56 | 53 |





